Real Life is Better Than Fiction

One of the joys of being a parent is that your kids get to embarrass you. I know for a fact that I embarrassed my parents on several occasions. Just to name a couple…   While we were visiting some Civil War sites that were absolutely full of people, I rather loudly and with a serious look on my face, asked my mom, “Was Grant a Confederate?”   Now this might not see so embarrassing to most parents, but you have to understand mine. My parents were great history buffs, involved in Civil War Skirmishing (which is similar to re-enacting only they shoot at targets not at each other), they worked with historical societies and local schools doing various Civil War programs. THEIR child most definitely should have known that Grant was NOT a Confederate since we ate and breathed the Civil War.   I believe it was on the same vacation where I caused my mom’s face to turn all shades of red for a second time. Due to some plumbing issues, one place we stopped to use the restroom, we ...

It’s birthday season around here. Many of us dread birthdays simply because we are getting older. Some people are stuck at 39 for way more than one year. What’s one way we can make birthdays seem not so bad? Convince our kids that we are younger than we really are. When my son was about four, I had him completely convinced that I was 22. He would proudly tell anyone that asked exactly how old I was. One year when my birthday fell on a Sunday, one of the leaders I was working with made a big deal out of it. He kept trying to guess my age. My son was sitting on the front row wildly waving his arm. “Do you know how old your mom is?” the leader asked him. Without batting an eyelash, my son responded, “22!” The leader burst out laughing. You see, all anyone who knew me had to do was a little math. Besides my four year old, I also had a nine year old and an 11 year old. I suppose 22 seemed a little ridiculous. But I had my son trained! Until… The following summer when the Cuzzie-...

I recently had the “cuzzy-wuzzies” (that’s cousins for normal people) stay for a long weekend. They usually come and stay for a week every summer. However this past summer we decided to go on vacation together instead. Going through cousin-withdrawal and feeling as if they had missed out on something, they “needed” to come visit at another time. Even the 20, 17, and 15 year olds still look forward to visits without complaint. The younger cousins about wet their pants in anticipation. As soon as dates are set they begin planning everything that they want to do together. Our house may be full to overflowing when the cuzzy-wuzzies come, but I love every bit of the noise and the chaos. I love seeing their imaginations at work. I love seeing their innocence in a world polluted by so many negative things. One of the things they always enjoy doing is making movies. This is something they have done on their last several get-togethers. They make up scripts and costumes. If they are anywhere...

Besides the obvious as a time for giving thanks to God for all of our blessings, Thanksgiving means different things to different people. Some people spend the day watching football. Others spend the day perusing Black Friday sale ads. For me, it’s all about the food. I love to entertain and I love to cook. More than that, I love to eat! When I was a child we would spend every Thanksgiving at my Grandma’s house. She would fix enough food to feed an army. One of her specialties was cole slaw, which she made special for me. And then there were the rolls… My job was to put butter on the tops before she put them in the oven. However, not all Thanksgiving dinners from my past were so pleasant. One year, after my husband and I were married, we were planning a huge Thanksgiving dinner with our family. We had family coming from all over. I was so looking forward to cooking when one relative had a great idea. He suggested we all go out to eat. Although I was a little disappointed, I wen...

We can all think of things our parents said that as children we always thought were silly statements to make. Let’s face it, now that we are parents, we find ourselves saying exactly the same things. We’ve even added some new silly statements of our own. This is the one I heard today that brought all these memories to mind: “Repeat after me…We do not eat boogers!” (I’m not sure I want to know what instigated this conversation!) “I’m gonna knock your heads together!” (Never knew a parent that actually did that.) “Do you want me to knock your teeth out?” (Like parents really want to pay more for dental care!) “Do you want me to come out/up there?” (The obvious answer would be “No.”) “Tell him you’re sorry!” (But what if he isn’t sorry? Just because you make him say it doesn’t mean he is.) “You act like you were raised in a barn!” (I know kids who were raised in barns and believe me, they act like it.) “Were you raised by wolves?” (In a child’s mind, that would be the coole...

Lice is something that moms of school age kids hate to even think about. You would think that since I homeschool my kids, I wouldn’t have to worry about such things. Wrong! I got an email the other day that the sports team my daughter plays on had an outbreak of lice. This brought not-so-sweet memories for me. There was on time my mom got that dreaded phone call. The girl I sat next to in class and her whole family had bugs crawling around on them. Because of this, the entire school was subjected to a thorough head search. One by one we were escorted to the coatroom that had been turned into a sort of hospital. When it was my turn in the hot seat, I had this nagging feeling in the pit of my stomach. The guy sitting in the chair across from me didn’t’ look particularly happy, either. He had a horrible case of dandruff and I couldn’t figure out how the teacher who was searching his head could tell the difference between eggs and dandruff. His teacher made the comment, “These guys ar...

Camping was something my family often did while I was growing up. Camping is a great way for families to spend time together. It’s also a great way for people to get out and enjoy nature. We had a pop-up camper, where my sisters and I slept along with our parents. My older brother preferred sleeping alone in the van. I normally liked sleeping in the camper, but one particular night, I would have much preferred the van and my brother. I was sleeping soundly when all of a sudden something woke me. The lights of the camper were on and the camper was rocking back and forth. I could hear my mom talking to my dad, “It’s over there!” Then there would be stomping and shaking again. Sitting up in my bed, I opened the privacy curtain and saw that my father was out of bed, but without my glasses on, I couldn’t see what was wrong. So what did I do? I put on my glasses and took another sneak peak, which is an act I regret to this day. I saw my dad holding a badminton racket. “It’s over th...