Real Life is Better Than Fiction

This one is for all my fellow homeschooling parents out there. One day I was trying to teach my son the importance of using punctuation. That particular day was all about commas. I had seen something on Facebook that I thought was humorous. I also thought it would help my son understand better, especially with his sense of humor. Please note – I can take no credit for the following - “”Let's eat Grandma. Let's eat, Grandma. Punctuation saves lives.” I wrote out the two grandma sentences and showed them to my son. I explained that the correct sentence invited Grandma to eat along with us and the incorrect sentence said that Grandma was the main course. My son started laughing and could not stop. When he finally got to where he could breathe a little bit, he said, “I'm sorry! I can just picture Grandma laying out on the table with an apple in her mouth.” This brought forth another round of hysterical laughter. When he could finally talk again he added, “And she's ...

In honor of Mother's Day tomorrow I thought I would post something about my own Mom. She was the best. I think Solomon had her in mind when he wrote Proverbs 31 because every verse describes her. Ahh...so many stories...where should I begin. I'll start with the sweet. I remember one hot summer night I was preparing to take my bath. I brought down a towel and my pj's, which were not really appropriate for sticky evenings. (Keep in mind, people, this was back before everyone couldn't live without air conditioning! We actually lived without it and lived to tell about it, too!) “Is that all you have?” Mom asked. “Yes.” I answered. I think that may be the one time I experienced a growth spurt. I went about my business and got my bath. When I came out, Mom was at her sewing machine. “You're too fast.” She said. While I was in the tub, she saw a lack that I had and immediately went to work sewing me a cool, comfortable nighty. I still remember that green gingham ni...

This time of year it's all about the love. When my kids were small I would tell them, “I love you to pieces.” My girls never said much in response, but my son came up with a response that was all his own. “I love you five pieces!” Every time I would tell him that I loved him to pieces he would repeat the phrase incorrectly. “I love you one hundred million pieces!” He would just giggle and I couldn't help by laugh along with him. One day I finally asked him, “What in the world are you talking about?” “You only love me TWO pieces, but I love you a lot more than that.” He told me. I think it's hilarious how children often take what we say so literally. It just goes to show how one word can change the entire meaning of a sentence. This Valentine's Day let there be no doubt how you feel about the ones you love. Leave a note on the mirror, put a card in their lunchboxes, shout it loud and clear, “I love you 600 trillion pieces!” You can say it when it's not...

And the continuation of “Christmas at Martha's House” Three Sundays before Christmas: Practice was canceled due to the stomach bug. My sister Jennifer calls and guess what she has to say! “I just can’t have Grandma this year. My kids all work and I have to plan around them. Not to mention the rest of the family. But I do hope to see all of you sometime during the holidays.” I hope Grandma spares us her nostalgia about how they had to improvise during the Depression. There may not be a Depression going on in my house, but improvisation is still very much in style. I must remember to warn Tom not to call Grandma the Ghost of Christmas Past. At least not in front of Cindy. She repeats too much! I can hear it now, “Grandma, do you know what Tom calls you?” Monday: I find the roll of tape under Karen’s bed and wrap my gold boxes. What IS all that junk she has stashed under there? I hope none of it is food. Cindy’s teacher calls. “Candy canes for Kindergarten? Sure. I still have ...

In honor of Christmas I wanted to post a story that my mom wrote. She labeled it as fiction, but there are A LOT of events in this story that really happened. It is rather long so I will post half of the story this week and the other half next week. Enjoy! Christmas at Martha’s House by Jeri Doner Call me Martha. Better yet, don’t call me at all until at least the middle of January. I thought I had all the preparations for Christmas under control, until the meeting that Sunday after church. Five Sundays before Christmas: Claire, the Sunday school secretary, says, “We’re doing a play this year and I apologize for not getting together before now.” It seems the Sunday School Superintendent put her in charge and gave her a copy of the play he had chosen. It took her three weeks to convince him that it just wasn’t right for us, and to come up with another script. I’m surprised she convinced him at all. But now we’ll have to work extra hard to get it ready, if we think we can, if we ...

Yes, I know, it's been a while since my last entry. My life has been interrupted by...well, life. Not that I am necessarily a big promoter of Halloween, but I thought this next entry would be appropriate for this time of year. It is said that the experiences we have in our lives shape the people we become. I do not like scary things, especially movies! I bought a Christian scary movie once to watch with my husband one night. Afterward, I wouldn't even go to the bathroom by myself. Pathetic, I know. However, I do think I know the cause of my issues with all things scary: my brother. There was always a Haunted House at the New York State Fair. My brother went through that haunted house so many times he knew the path like the back of his hand. Well, one year I thought I was old enough to follow my big brother through. Mom and Dad waited outside for us. I was so excited at first and felt that I was now all grown up and ready to handle scary things. Then I looked up and noti...

Summer is definitely upon us! While I thought things would slow down a little bit since we don’t have school over the summer, I was sadly mistaken. I keep telling myself, “It will slow down after next week’s events.” However, the following week has events of its own. It makes me long for the relaxed days of my childhood summers. Us kids would spend all of our hours riding bikes, swimming at the pool, and playing badminton. These are all things I still very much enjoy doing – although I get a little more winded, a little more quickly now! Last weekend I was able to spend some time with my sisters, nieces, and nephews. My one nephew, Nikolas, had looked forward to my arrival because he wanted to play badminton with me. In fact, that was the first thing out of his mouth when I saw him. After dinner I finally gave in to his requests. “We’ll just practice a little bit first.” Nikolas said. After a few minutes of trying to get a volley going, Nikolas commented, “You’re challenging....